Patience and honesty.
Those are two words that are really important in regards to being kind to myself right now.
The first – patience – I am terrible at. I like the difficult things to be done and over with quickly. I don’t want to dawdle or have time to really mull things over or change my mind. The thrill for me is not in the chase – it is in the settling of affairs. It is in the peace of knowing you’ve gotten where you were going and you are there and you’ve earned it and there’s no question about it.
I like the calm, the certainty, the control.
And then there’s the honesty. Something that (thankfully) comes a lot more naturally – maybe a bit too naturally when wine is involved…
But in my current situation, I’ve had to be brutally honest in order to heal and grow into the next chapter. It’s not only being honest with the people who I see everyday who are just being kind when asking me about my relationship that they don’t know is over. It’s not just telling them the honest truth that I don’t know how he is or where he is or what he’s up to.
I also realize that I’ve had to be brutally honest with myself. I have to find the honest answers to these questions that I’ve started to ask myself in order to become a better, stronger, happier version of the me I was before. What makes me happy? Who do I want in my life? How do I want to be treated? What do I need to stand up for? What do I need to work on? When do I need to say no?
When it comes to me dealing with the fallout of my divorce, the two things that push me forward to the next step and to every next day are being patient with myself and being honest with myself.
Ok, plus wine and ice cream…
So honestly? I didn’t make this Mulberry Ice Cream today.
I didn’t even make it this week. I made it back in May – right before I fell off the face of the blog-earth. However, I still have a pint of it in the freezer – which I was reminded of when Weiser Farms had juicy mulberries last week at the market – so I’m going to count it.
It’s also super hot in Los Angeles right now, so it’s perfect ice cream weather. And since I just want to get back to sharing all of the delicious things that I love to make with you, it seems today is going to have to finally be the perfect time.
Patience paying off, am I right?
So put your ice cream maker in the freezer tonight. Get yourself to the market for mulberries tomorrow. No crying behind your sunglasses when someone asks you how you’re doing. Be honest, and tell them – you’re doing really well.
And after you’ve gotten home a teeny bit stronger than you left, make yourself some damn ice cream. Throw some chocolate chips on top and eat bowl after bowl in front of a fan in your underwear. Because hopefully some day kind of soon (patience!) you will look back at this summer and how ridiculous and how hard it was, and you’re going to be really proud of how you pulled yourself up, through, and out of it.
Sometimes it takes patience and honesty. Sometimes it takes ice cream. At leastI know I’m prepared for both.
Mulberry Ice Cream
ever so slightly adapted from The Pioneer Woman’s delicious blackberry ice cream
2 pints Mulberries, frozen or fresh
1 Juiced Lemon
1-1/4 cup Sugar
1-1/2 cup Half-and-half
5 whole Egg Yolks
1-1/2 cup Heavy Cream
1 additional pint Mulberries
Cook mulberries, 1/4 cup sugar, and lemon juice in a medium saucepan over low heat for 20-25 minutes. Strain using a fine mesh sieve, pressing berries to squeeze out as much juice as possible. Set juice aside.
Heat half-and-half and remaining 1 cup of sugar in a separate saucepan over low heat. Turn off heat when mixture is totally heated.
Beat egg yolks until they are pale yellow and slightly thick. While whisking constantly, temper the eggs (so they don’t scramble!) by slowly drizzling 1/4 cup of the hot half-and-half mixture into the yolks at a time. Once you have whisked in about a cup of the half-and-half, pour your tempered egg yolks into the pot and continue constant whisking over medium-low heat until your custard has become much thicker.
Once thickened, use a fine mesh sieve to strain the custard into a bowl with the heavy cream. Stir to combine. Add blackberry juice/puree to the cream/custard mixture and stir. (this step is so pretty!)
Chill mixture completely (patience!!), then freeze in an ice cream maker until thick. With about 3-5 minutes left – just as the mixture is almost finished freezing – throw in the last pint of mulberries (and/or chocolate chips if you’re feeling fancy!) Allow them to mix in while the ice cream finishes forming. It will be much softer than ice cream at this point, but you should probably scoop yourself a melting bowlful anyway. Place the rest of the ice cream in a container in the freezer to harden for an additional two hours.