It’s been quite a long time since this picture was taken.

I was so excited.  My first record deal.  I was going to be a star.

I was recording my “debut album” in a sweet little studio in Orlando, Florida.

I was writing music every single day.  It started to come pretty easily.  I could put together a pop-dance track in a few hours.

I was also drinking a lot of Red Bull.

A lot has changed since then.

For one, I don’t drink Red Bull anymore.  The caffeine crash is pretty ugly.

Oh and also, no more record deal.  No more of that record company, actually.

Oh well.  I’ll still be a rock star.

I have also personally changed a lot since then.  In addition to the wrinkles that are starting to form (stupid tanning beds…), my musical tastes have also changed a bit.  The poems and notes and songs I write now aren’t so much about dancing in the club, but more about relationships and the incredible places and people I’ve come across in this world.  I listen back to some of my songs and realize they are fun, but they’re also kind of silly.  As was my life at the time.  I had a REALLY good time in Orlando…

I will say that there is one song that I recorded that was not at all silly.  I wrote “A Moment” after my great friend Karey passed away.  The song is not at all perfect, but it was a creation from all of the pain and the hurt that I was feeling, and it was my way of getting some of those hard emotions out and turning them into something tangible.  “A Moment” was something that helped everything not hurt as much.

Ah, life.

So tomorrow I am taking a songwriting course to kick my butt back into gear and make more time for the things that are the most important to me.  I hope to be sharing clips of new songs or ideas that I’ve been working on very soon.

And I hope to regain rockstar status ASAP.

So I guess what I’m trying to say here is follow your dreams.  Let them evolve and let them change, but don’t let them fade.  Because life is so much more fulfilling when it is full of joy.  And sometimes taking another path for a little while is what you have to do to get back to what’s important.  But always get back to what’s important.  Always keep it in your sight.

Also, don’t set an end date on your goals.  This has been a common topic recently, living in LA.  Not being 19 anymore.  Who cares?  There are characters in movies and TV shows that are 30-somethings.  There are a whole lot of 28 year olds listening to music who aren’t interested in what Selena Gomez has to say.  Who says if you hit a certain age it ain’t gonna happen?  There is a demand for talent of all ages.  There’s just a demand for talent.  So be talented.  Practice.  Learn.  Evolve.

So here’s to evolving and still working toward my dreams three years after my record deal fell through.  And here’s to finding an excuse to wear red plastic pants again.

ha… yea right.

2 thoughts on “Dreaming…

    • Oh gosh, I think I found them at a 579 or something way back in the day. I recently saw some just like them at Mango, though, if you’re in need of red plastic pants. Wish I still had them! 🙂

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