“Sometimes, you think you have everything all under control.
Sure, there’s a lot to juggle. There are a lot of things to get done. There are to-do lists a mile long. But you’ve got it. You’re not worried.
And then, sometimes, everything goes wrong.
I’m sure you consider yourself an extremely calm person. You’ve worked in the restaurant industry for over a decade – nothing phases you anymore. No problem anyone could throw at you in a typical dinner service is enough of a big deal to get you all worked up. You deal with it. You take one step at a time. Things could be a lot worse. You’ve been through a lot worse.
But some things even trigger the calm ones. Sometimes when you’re doing big, scary, new things -you get overwhelmed. Sometimes you realize you can’t be there for everyone anymore and not be there for yourself. It’s hard for you, but you have to focus on you at these times. You have to not be there for people you love. And maybe the ways you choose to deal with it aren’t always the best ways.
But, you’re learning. You’ll definitely know better next time.
Until then, just breathe. Just put your head down and do what you have to do to get through until you can simply rest. Lean on the people who love you. Lean on the people who are there to support you. You’ll get them back. You’re good for it. And then when you have the opportunity to, just rest. And rest until you are ok again. Do whatever it takes to get ok again.
No one ever thought starting this journey would be easy. No one ever thought you could just take over the world without a hiccup every now and then. So take this bump in the road. Figure out what it means and what you’ve learned from it. And then get back up, recover, and start driving forward again.
And when your pup crawls up next to you in the morning and pushes you over to be her big spoon, just move over and scratch her behind her ears until you both fall back asleep. Because she doesn’t have the words to tell you how much love she has for you, but she is confident in what you’re starting to know again.
You are great. You are going to be just fine. Plus, you will probably take her on a really great walk once you decide it’s finally time to get out of bed.”
– inner monologue