I walked by a table last night who had just gotten their burgers and fries.
Two little old ladies having a casual dinner together. All dressed up with glamorous pearls and jewels, hair perfectly curled and pinned in place. Just out catching up on girl talk and eating cheeseburgers and french fries.
This was not strange. The strange part was that one of the women was shining a laser beam over her food before she ate it.
Like, the kind of red laser beam that drives my dog insane. Shining it all over her french fries.
I couldn’t resist. I have learned that people that do crazy things like this are usually very excited to share with you exactly what the heck they are doing.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but notice your laser beam, there. What exactly is that for?”
“Oh, this? This is the newest technology. I’m sure you’re going to be seeing them everywhere soon. It brings all of the toxins and chemicals out of whatever you shine it on.”
“It just sucks them right out of the burger?”
“Well, it can’t make it perfect, but it balances the pH levels and just makes it so much better for your body. Plus, you aren’t taking in all of those toxins.”
Awesome?/Are you freaking insane?
I Googled it when I got home, just to see where this lady had come up with this crazy idea. (And because if all it takes is a laser to take toxins out of cheeseburgers, I’m totally in.) I found the BioReconance Laser, which in studies even lasered a cigarette (!!) and got positive results after smoking it!
Something about energy waves through food and the shape of your blood. Wow.
But apparently it’s the next big thing in technology. Just don’t use it around my dog. She’ll eat your burger – and the little red light that keeps disappearing. Where did it go? Where did it go??
(Oh my god I just realized that these lasers are $659 or $998!!!! I don’t even have words…)