I was talking with my great friend Sarah about a week ago and I told her how I thought 2013 was going to be a great year.
“I don’t know about that,” she said. “I think 2013 is going to be a hard year. A transition year. And then 2014 will be a great year.”
Way to take the wind out of my sails, I thought at the time.
But the more I think about it, the more right she is. 2013 is hard. It’s hard already. We knew that going into it, though. Brad and I knew that even though we would be working together again, we wouldn’t be seeing much of each other. He’d be working terribly long hours learning a whole new kitchen and a new way of running things. I joked that I’d see him in February.
I realize now that joke isn’t funny. It could be March.
So yesterday was our one day off this week together. We slept in. We cleaned up the apartment. I (over)baked Blueberry muffins. We ate them anyway. We went down to Venice and got Chai and bought awesome tiny presents for our nephew’s first birthday. We came home and we napped. We had an amazing dinner with good friends.
But as soon as he fell asleep and our day together ended, I was in a bad mood. I knew it’d be a week before I had more than a sleepy after-work hour with my husband. This morning I went to the market by myself while Brad went to work. I had a work meeting canceled, and then my guitar player had to cancel our practice this afternoon. And now I’m home moping around my apartment feeling rejected and lonely because no one needed me today. (I know. I’m being super Bratty Kels)
You’d think with the 4789798326 projects it seems like I have going on that I would be happy with a little bit of free time. You’d think I could find something productive to do with an extra couple of hours before work. Remember your 2013 word, Kels? Focus? You’d think I would focus on something productive today!
But some days – like today – all I want is to crawl back into bed and start over. Maybe with a well rested husband by my side and a happy puppy as my foot-blanket. And I want things to stop changing on me and just go as planned.
But what Sarah said is right. 2013 is going to be hard. It’s going to be a lot of work. But a year from now Brad will have mastered that kitchen. A year from now I will confidently be playing shows around Los Angeles. A year from now we will have paid off more debt and will have gotten our lives together just a little bit more. A year from now we will be starting even more exciting adventures and we will be continuing the adventures we have already begun.
That isn’t to say 2013 isn’t still going to be great. Because it is. It’s just going to be one of those years we have to trudge through to get to the even greater stuff.
So today I’m going to relax until work and focus on getting myself out of this Humpday funk. I’m going to look at this picture a lot because it makes me smile every time.
I’m going to call a friend and make plans for my Friday off alone. I’m going to do one productive thing around the house. And I might also just take a nap. Because my mom tweeted me that do-overs are allowed. And maybe a do-over is all I need.